November 2005 Archives

Ministers and Rabbi,
     The Minister of Media and Technology makes an important and insightful point - IFS prospers because of OUR eternal vigilance, which I believe the IHOP restaurant chain has little to do with.  Obviously, we all respect and remain grateful for the Turnpike IHOP.  They have fostered our growth and we will always remain loyal to Dottie, Marteen, and the rest.  But lets face it, we lucked out with Turnpike - they don't all have backrooms and four rounds of booze.
     At these momentous crossroads we must think clearly and we must think for the livelihood of our Great Society.  Ask yourselves -  Do we pledge allegiance to the IHOP name?  Or do we pledge allegiance to the establishment (whatever thy name) that embodies the IFS spirit?  Do we remain loyal and go dry?  Or do we expand our horizons and seek an establishment that holds an open door, and an open bottle, for us bleary eyed and sharply dressed?  When answering these questions, we must never forget our Turnpike roots, but we must also remember the IFS vision and spirit.  And of course, we must ask ourselves the most important question of them all, "Why do we call him the Minister of Finance?"

Please comment or post your opinions regarding the place of meeting for our End of the Year celebration.  Thank you.  And Good Flapjack.

-The Minister of C. and R.

We have established a long tradition of meeting at IHOP.  It seems like only yesterday six bleary-eyed college students went into an IHOP, but came out an International Society.  As we have lived through our one-year anniversary and look to claim larger goals and landmarks, a tradition is at stake.  Our carnal desire to drink beer and eat flapjacks at IHOP, while pushing the boundaries of our worldliness, cannot happen in San Diego.  San Diegan IHOP's don't serve booze and will not allow booze.

Immediately I thought, well why don't we sneak in flasks, but the thought of Jameson's mixed with pancakes forced part of my morning coffee to seethe in my eternal belly fire.  What is an International Society as prominent as ours to do?  With only two and half weeks till meeting, we may need to compromise.  The Minister of MOM has already been working hard to try to make this happen, and his work should not be in vain.

I for one do not care about the establishment.  There is a reason we don't have Dottie on our sleeves, and it's not the ten dollars, it's that things like that change.  The SB IHOP is one of a kind, and if we could continue eating there everytime we would, although I question our safety after my close call with a burgalar. 

All we need is faith my brothers.

First I want to reply to the post about worring about some robots beating me in a dance off. I want to say I am not scared in the slightest and I will serve them up something proper if it ever goes down! Robots are irresponsible dancing machines and philanthropy will have to give them a brief tutorial on the one two step.

Now that I have that off my chest I want to get down to business, I talked to Earl at the B&G club again. I hadn't recieved a response so I gave him a call, he said he hadn't forgot about us and told me he needed us more than we needed him. I laughed and replied "No Earl it is we who need you and those damn kids more than you need us, we need their loving giggles, their goofy smiles, and their stupid remarks. No Earl it is not you who needs us, it is us who need you. We need to see hope in those kids beady little eyes again, and make them realize Christmas is coming, and I.F.S is bringing it!.." He then put a kid on the phone named Bobby who losts his parents to some crazy dancing robots. Anyway I assured the kid that I would find those out of control, loose cannon robots. I also assured him we would bring him Christmas if I.F.S had anything to say about it. So guys in the S.B chapter there will come a time soon probably before the 1st of December when you might get a call to help save Christmas.

I know we all have a lot of stuff on our plate, and could all come up with excuses but I urge you to remember little Bobby and his sad story. I don't want to have to look into that kids teary eyes and tell him Christmas has to be postpond till next year because Santa also got killed by one of those damn dancing robots. Don't make me lie to this kids sweet face, so how about it guys what say we save Christmas for those crazy little bastards!

If you missed the after party saturday night at the bath house, you failed to see one of the greatest renditions of the robot known to man. Keep your eyes peeled in L.A.where you may catch an appearance of this dancing beast. Minister of philanthropy beware!

Many interesting facts arise from the googling of Family Guy references.  Last week's Peanut Butter Jelly Time!, and now the Ball In A Cup.  This article briefly describes the Mexican people's hearty nature to make something out of anything, and thus we have the ball-in-a-cup.

I have been asked this question a lot.  So here is the definitive post on how to post for all IFS members.

1.  Go to www.typepad.com
2.  Enter your username and password. (I do not know your logins or passwords.  You should have an email from typepad telling you this stuff.)
3.  You will see IFS on the right side of the screen, under Your Weblogs.  Either click on IFS or POST next to it.
4.  You are now ready to post.  (If you want to put an image in with your post, just save it to the desktop and after your done typing your post, click the image button to the right of the 123 columns button.

If you have any other questions refer to the manual for the site.

I don't know how long this link will last, as it is an email a friend thing, but this flash applet is pretty cool anyways.  I put together a brief song based on the words they had in their database. As you have probably already found out, it takes words from other songs and pieces them together.  No real application for this, though it does remind of a certain megamix.

Only a test, but it should get everyone thinking about the IFS song that needs to be written this month.

Never Fear, The Trophies are here.

Yesterday I placed an order for two custom trophies. This handsome figure at left is atop both trophies. whammy.

One goes to Mike Casanova for his member of the year award and the other goes immediately to Mark Schroeder for his member of the month award and then to be passed from member to member, month to month.

Also I was thinking of ordering custom ballpoint pens. There's a pretty good deal for 10 click pens for 8$ a member. I was thinking yellow pens with brown engraving. Or we could do assorted colors with black engraving. This would be the Engraving:

                                                            I.F.S.
                                           International Flapjack Society
                                            ...It's the pancake breakfast
                                                  we do it every month.

I would take care of ordering and the initial expenses if people want to do that.  They would be pretty sweet and only 8$. Give me some feedback andrew_fricker@hotmail.com.

Minister of MoM, Out.

For anyone trying to make sense of last night's pedophilia laced epsiode of Family Guy, I googled the song and dance routine that Brian does to cheer up Peter and found the lyrics.

Ebaum's has the Flash movie that looks to have inspired the scene.

Now what was up with Herbert, the old pedophile and the song?  I don't think even Google knows the answer to that one.

All Hail the Member of the Year!

As the Minister of Member of the Month I took the initiative to recognize Mr. Mike Casanova (Minister of Interior Design) as the Member of the Year for 2005. I think everyone would agree Mr. Casanova embodies the image, neigh the spirit of I.F.S.

His dedication to flapjacks goes well beyond our monthly meetings. We should all strive to be more like Mr. Casanova. So raise your glass to your member of the Year! It’s kind of a big deal. (Mike pictured as Sophie)

I also want to thank and congratulate the Minister of Wardrobe, Mr. Mark Schroeder as the Member of the Month for November. Well Done Sir, A fine job indeed. (Mark pictured as Blanche).

Some damn punk kids apparently wheelie-boarded into our meeting while we were in our post ordering smoke break and stole our Member of the Month Trophy. But not to fear the Minister of MoM is currently researching possible trophy options for both the Member of the Month and Year. I was thinking possibly a body building themed trophy, seems appropriate.

And lastly, everyone can count on an incredible weekend in San Diego for December. (Mark your calendars Dec. 17^th in SD) With the Minister of Revelry and Spirits at my side we won’t fail in delivering a damn fine meeting, and weekend.

Minister of MOM, Out.

For those of you wondering when the Arnold Mix was going to shed its poise and sophistication and address the topics of urinal fights and lavoratory destruction, we are one step ahead of you.  Two weekends ago heroic efforts by myself and the Minister of Coordination yielded a new version of the mix, now available for your auditory pleasuring at: http://www.progressivemotion.com/megamix.mp3.  Cheers,

- Minister of Auditory Pleasures

In a victory for sanity, Sony Music anounced this week that it will abandon the Orwellian copy protection program which it has already used for several dozen of its artists - including some of my personal favorites like Celine Dion and Sarah  McLachlan.  Under the program, called XCP, PC users are unable to play the protected CD without special Sony Software.  Designed to prevent filesharing, this measure unfortunately also prevents IPods, mix CD's and just about everything worthwhile you can do with music.  Sony's cave-in on this comes in the wake of several major viruses exploiting the protection software to hide from anti-viruses.  It should help to convince the some of the suits in the music and film industries that any solution to the filesharing problem will have to come from dialogue between companies and consumers rather than a couple mad scientists in Tokyo.  So fire up Kazaa and get yourself a Dion box set, and while your at it be sure to download Backdoor Slammers and Ball Busters starring Ginger Lynn - I've heard they're phenomenal.

- Minister of Auditory Pleasures

The Darkness are back, you know "I believe in a thing called love, just listen to the rhythm of my heart..." and so on.  Their new music video hopes to put rockers all in a line, a delicious coke-fueled one.  A tribute to the bloody noses and late night shakes that is coke and its long time relatioship to rock n' roll.  The video looks like something out of Lord of the Rings.  Let's hope the singles get better from here.

Minister of Finance you cannot escape me, just because your phone is off and you don't respond to emails.  You are the only one not signed up for this site.  A special prize will be awarded to the succesful capture and subsequent raping of this beast, by raping I mean sign him up.  I have sent four invitations to his U-Mail account - cbaezwink@umail.ucsb.edu.

MOF if you do not sign up for this site by the end of the day today...(don't worry I've got all day to think of what I will do when I get up to SB tonight.)

As an added incentive, or decentive, to the MOM award, the MOM of each month will have their picture featured in the banner as the last frame, currently the Minister of Defense is in there as a placeholder.  Minister of Letters, we will need you to start recording the minutes and posting them to the site.  Minister of MOM we will need you to write a brief post on the MOM, with the reason they won the award for that month.  Let me know what you guys think.

Earlier today, I caught a couple minutes of the 101 Juiciest Hollywood Hookups on America's most trusted name in news, E - Entertainment Television (I was just flipping through , cause I don't usually watch that channel or anything).   Hookup number 78 was Hollywood bad boy Charlie Sheen (Hot Shots!, All Dogs Go to Heaven 2) and 80s porn star Ginger Lynn (Backdoor Slammers, Ball Busters).   Their relationship got off to a great start, as Sheen helped Ginger break into Hollywood and Ginger nursed Sheen through rehab.  However, in June of 93', Sheen's involvement in the Heidi Fleiss sex scandal became open to the public.  E reported that Sheen had paid Fleiss over $50,000 dollars for sex acts from twenty-seven of Fleiss' employees.  Twenty-seven whores.  Wow dad, that debauchery is big.   Needless to say, Sheen's blatant infidelity was too much for the retired porn star to bear, and thus Hollywood's Juicy Hookup #78 came to an end.

At the end of the segment, Sheen proclaimed that he had slept with over 5,000 women (and this was in the mid-nineties).  Couple this information with the Tommy Lee radio interview that I heard a couple months ago (in which Tommy claimed to have run into Sheen hanging out at Peter North's house) and you have a pretty good idea of what would happen if the Minister of Interior Design ever became a movie star. 

Anyways, I think we should make Sheen an honorary Minister (like we did with the Govenator).  Hopefully, we'll have Sheen's signed head shot up on the wall before next year.  You know he'd approve of all the gluttony.  Good Flapjack.

-Minister of Coordination and Rousing

(We still need to decide on a celebration)

The official IFS uniform is finally complete and will arrive this weekend just in time for the celebration of the one year anniversary. This will most likely be the most expensive T-shirt you have ever purchased, but then again it should be valued as the most important item in your wardrobe. Did I mention there is a front chest pocket with IFS printed in Old English? The Minister of Interior Design was gracious enough to cover the overall cost with the promise from the Minister of Wardrobe that he will be paid in full this upcoming weekend, I don't think we will need your assistance Finance, but thanks. There are extra shirts for the ladies of IFS and for future members. Each shirt cost $48, I know, I know...but how can you put a price tag on such quality; I also won't have to sit across form the yellow Lacoste again. I believe it would be appropriate for each member to wear a blazer as well. Good Flapjack.

I need everyone's info once again.  Here's what I need:
Email Address
Mailing Address (for mugs and such)
Phone Number
Position

Email it to me or comment on this post.

Here is a six minute music video set to the consumption of flapjacks.  Check it out, makes me hungry, but a quality celebration of the thing most precious to me.

I'm beginning to wonder what SB is like when I am away, but thanks to some hidden cameras I think I know.  Minister of C+R thanks

Do I have to call all of you personally? Respond to the anniversary post.

How cheesy but sweet is Prison Break?  The Minister of C+R informs me that SB has been infected.  And how about the OC, bad start but last week's was entertaining.  Minister of Interior Design, the new character Kevin Volchok is a good Caleb replacement as best character.  I am trying to get work off Friday so I can be up there Thurs. night.  For anyone who was priveleged enough to see VH1 recap R Kelly's Urban Opera videos 1-9, be sure to check out South Park this week, it looks like they will be making fun of the degenerate urinator.

Ministers and Rabbi,

The Minister of Media and Technology raises an important point - with our Rabbi missing, we must decide for ourselves what the post-meeting act of leisure will be.  We really shouldn't half-ass this one (i.e. passing out in front of "UFOs: Seeing is Believing" hosted by Peter Jennings), so I think everyone should post their idea for a celebration worthy of the IFS One Year Anniversary.  Either comment on this post, or on the Minister of Media and Technology's post, or make your own post, but EVERYONE should make a recommendation - especially those who haven't got around to posting on this site yet.  And the sooner we post our ideas, the sooner we can decide on one.

I suggest that this year we keep it simple and find a park with some decent hoops for some full court basketball.  With our number of Ministers we could go five on five with subs, and hopefully play a three or five game series.  I know this plan doesn't fall in line with our typical 'binder' routine, but if any of you remember the View/Manor basketball series last year, getting outside and 'doing stuff' can be fun too.  Of course I'm always open to a three-day drunken odyssey that ends in cold sweats and paranoia induced nightmares, if that's what everyone wants.  Whatever we decide upon, I'm hoping for a Flapjack-Anniversary Miracle. 

-Minister of Coordination and Rousing

As this will be the 50th post of this site's short but embattled history, I thought it was only fitting to write on another landmark in IFS history, the one year anniversary that will be taking place Saturday.  Originally concieved on a Friday morning wrought with Mid-terms and other obligations, the dedication exhibited by the majority of IFS members is inspiring.  The selflessness of all those honored with membership should be applauded.

What should we do to properly celebrate our accomplishments this weekend ?

If you have ever wondered in awe of the awesome t-shirts I wear all the time, the site I get them from, Threadless, is having a sale.  All shirts are $10, but hurry cause supplies are limited in certain sizes.  Link.

Below is a picture of the turducken. It's a chicken stuffed inside of a duck inside of a turkey. This has to happen, somehow, somewhere, someway. I am pushing for it at the Baumann family Thanksgiving dinner, but I don't know if it is going to happen. It is quite the culinary endeavor, and to be honest I don't know if Old Lady Baumann (a.k.a. the Ice Queen) has the necessary kitchen aptitude. However, I swear to God I will not let the New Year come without a turducken feast. I am open to suggestions as to how this may happen.

Did I mention that it has sausage stuffing? Well it fucking does.

Flapjack

Can you match the man with the mustache?

Charlie Chaplin
Salvador Dali
Cap'n Crunch
Cary Grant
President Theodore Roosevelt
Martin Luther King
Ron Jeremy
John Oates
Adolf Hitler
Geraldo Rivera
Tom Selleck
Saddam Hussein
Chris Baez

Ministers and Rabbi,

Our November meeting will take place as scheduled, on SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 19TH.  I know that I spoke with some of you about a possible Sunday meeting, but you can forget about all of that, thanks to the Minister of MOM down in SD.  In a display of true dedication and fealty, the Minister of MOM has placed IFS before his own career and future - abandoning a much needed class in his pursuit of Environmental Safety that would have otherwise interfered with a trip up to Santa Barbara .  You're setting a great example Minister of MOM.  Good Flapjack.

-Minister of Coordination and Rousing

I am deeply saddened to hear of the passing of the Escort Power. That car was the bringer of good times to the select few who had the privilege of riding in it, especially when the ride is to the 7-11 on Castillo at four in the morning after attempting and failing to catch a closing lap dance at the Spearmint Rhino. Well, she is in a better place now. The big Jalama in the sky. We will all miss you, Escort Power. The 101 between Lompoc and Ventura will forever be boringly safe without you.

Here are pictures of Diego and myself, crying.

AIN'T NO SCOOTER GONNA MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A FAG!! Nor the girly bike that I'm riding at the present moment. That's right I'm riding a girl's bike. Fact is: I have no car right now so I had to borrow chuy's bike. I manage to stuff both of it's tyres so then I had to borrow his girlfriend's bike. It sucks, but what am I to do?! I'm keeping a little dignity by only riding on the backstreets of SB, trying to somehow remain inconspicuous.. The scooter is out of question anyways, I'm over that. I'm trying to get an 80's mercedez, or maybe a little truck(very manly). And that's it. Cheers I.F.S.!

Last weekend the Minister of International Affairs was discussing his transportation needs, as his car has kicked the proverbial bucket.  Vespas and Scooters were mentioned, which would be an economical decision, but I just wanted to remind everyone why people don't ride them - people think you are gay.  Here is a good example of this theory.  Link.

(And no Jude Law's vespa in Alfie doesn't make them hetero, even though he plows everything in sight... and no I am not gay for watching that movie, it was on during my 14 hour plane flight back from France...I guess a trip to France could be seen as gay, but there will be no fag drags today.)

For those of you who partook in the Golden Girls costumes with me on Saturday's Halloween extravaganza, I saw a commercial last night for the 20th anniversary of the GG's.  It includes a twenty episode marathon on Lifetime, one of the best stations in the world for cheesy bad movies, like the one where the guy has sex with the pizza delivery girl the night before he gets married, and then she has a kid and doesn't tell him about it until his son starts attending the school he is the principal of, and his daughter starts falling for him, and the incest hilarity insues.  That was extremely off topic, but trust me you had to be there.  Anyways GG Nov. 11 on Lifetime.  Live it, love it, laugh at it.  I know I will be checking it to make sure that I don't in fact look like Bea Arthur's character Dorothy.  Here is the website for the marathon.
You can also take this quiz to find out which GG you are!

Ok, I have purchased more music in the last year than I probably have in my whole life, considering my adept computer skills can access any piece of multimedia for free, I have begun to feel less guilty by paying for it.  With music it was easy however, my music tastes have become less mainstream, and illegaly downloading the albums I want becomes tougher.  Simple supply and demand, the supply agress with the demand, but what I want, most downloaders don't.  TV Shows are quickly becoming like music as far as downloads are concerned.  The iPod Video will only further mainstream acceptance of shows outside of the boob tube.

I became interested in the pricepoint of these episodes - how did they come up with $2?  Music had established a pricepoint back in the CD days, heh CDs are so yesterday.  TV however is so packaged up that you can't order just a show, let alone a whole station.  So where does that price come from.  Engadget, a daily read for me, has an interesting/detailed article that argues for the pricepoint here.  But that got me to thinking, what could I get for the $2 instead of a TV show I will see eventually, Tivo-d at a friends house or at work. So here is a list of things you can get for $2 instead of precious TV shows:

A 40 of malt liquor (im talking Colt 45 or King Cobra) - $1.50
A Bic Lighter - $1.99
Split a Pack of Smokes with a friend - $2
200 Wishes At Your Local Wishing Well - $2
2 Condoms - $.99/each
2 Chicken Soft Tacos at Del Taco - $.79/each

(By combining the above items you have a pretty good night out.)

This is a short list, but this is what I would spend my money on if I saved $2 for every show I didn't watch.  How bout you?

During this past weekend's debauchery I was asked by the Minister of MOM what the fastest computer in the world is, and I can now say I know.  This bad boy ensures the security and operations of the world's nuclear facilities.  Least we know now that it's not working to keep Bush from wetting himself during press conferences.

Nothing like a mid-afternoon photo gallery to wake the senses (just focus your attention on Ms. Burke and not the lucky bastard posing next to her.)  Link