December 2005 Archives

FELIZ NATAL IFS!! International greetings to all of you honorable ministers of the most glorious secret society ever. Wish you all a great x-mas! I had very international one, went to an international party full of international hinies! I'm a very international man who likes international hinies from all international internations of this international world!!

  To live and to die by the pan of cake! I.F.S. forever!! Have a good schnietzel.

Oh my god, Mr. Carter! Its Christmas Eve.  I just wanted to wish everyone in I.F.S. a Merry Christmas.

If you're desperate for a last minute gift idea, check out this sweet RC car, Minister of ID  you should ditch the iPod for this baby, it plays MP3s and has rims..

I can't believe it has only been a few months and our site, with this post, will be at 100 posts.  I just want to thank everyone for contributing to the site.  Hopefully this is just the beginning of this site's history.  I am currently looking into moving the site off of Typepad, not only because of this past weekend's glitches, but to offer us a more robust solution, we may switch to Wordpress.  This will require everyone to sign-up again, but don't worry it will not be any more complicated a process than it needs to be, and I am confident that everyone has learned the basics to this weblog thing.  I will keep you all updated as this move develops but until then, keep on flapjackin'.

Also we did not decide on the time and location for January, I am sure C+R is all over this, but just a reminder we need to pinpoint that info.  I know that the Minister of Philanthropy might have some other obligations so we should figure this out ASAP to ensure another amazing meeting.  I will post my pictures from the weekend tomorrow, but until then, be sure to check out Amanda's photos on Flickr.

Hope you're feeling better after the 12-egg omelete Minister of I.A.  We want you to be ready to take on an IHOP eating challenge.  I'm not sure how accurate this article from 2004 is, but it claims that the chains pancake eating record is now 45.  The guy had 5 hours to do it too!  If anyone can find anymore information on the IHOP record please let us all know.  I think we could gain amazing publicity if someone from IFS stepped up to the challenge.  45 seems doable, but if we're talking 100 or something I think we could be in trouble.

As we were all in a deep stooper on Saturday, we missed one of the best SNL's in very very long time.  Jack Black was the host, but the true genius of the episode came in the form of a faux music video - The Chronic of Narnia.  Check it out courtesy of You Tube.

Well I took in the 3-hour spectacle that is King Kong, and it met my expectations.  I would say the pacing is a little off, as there is some fat that could be cut from this behemoth's tit, but the middle of the movie is amazing.  They captured the ape perfectly, giving it character and personality that couldn't be excavated from the FX demo that was the last three episodes of Star Wars. 
    For a plot that has been rehashed several times, the film is able to capture your attention for most of the movie which is impressive.  The beginning is slow, but necessary, and the end is obvious, but the movie is so entertaining in the middle it makes up for its shortcomings.  The Monkey of Finance better take notes cause there is a new beast in town, and he's going to out monkey us all.

It is (or was) finals time in Santa Barbara, and I know how deliriously painful those times can be.  Breaks are crucial, but what is an IFS minister to do during these short breaks...Well anyways here's some porn to get you through.  If that isn't enough for you, you sick bastard, here is a classic - the Jenny McCarthy spread from 98's Playboy.  And for those who can't get enough of those saucy brits, here's the latest lodge from Page 3.

Ministers and Rabbi,

     First off, great post MOM.  Also, big ups to the San Diegan Ministers for Coordinating our point of congregation.  Anyways, as you all know, our Mom is great Man.  Kind, just, and always accommodating, Mom leads by example, bringing a laudable presence to a society founded on debauchery and vice.  He's also been known to maintain the peace with an iron fist, tossing transgressors through glass furniture and rendering the villainous with blackened eyes and bruised feet.  (plus Mom kind of looks like a Malaysian Ferrigno)

   

 

With that said, of course Mom beckons us into his new home with open arms.  But, fourteen monkeys between two apartments is asking for trouble.  So, I'm suggesting that we lighten the load, and check out a room or two at a local hotel.  The Minister of R and S suggested the Catamaran, a decent looking place in close proximity to the apartments and the bars.  Splitting the bill among four would mean about $60 a person for the whole weekend. 

     If anyone needs help with Coordination and or Rousing aspects of booking a room, just let me know (remember, it's about four monkeys per room).  And once again, remember to bring clothing and shoes for basketball after the meeting.

-Minister of C. & R.

 

It is with great pride and anticipation that the Mr. Converse and I eagerly brace for the “Hurricane” that is IFS, to pound the small beachside community of San Diego with a storm surge of debauchery this coming weekend. Board up the windows and get in the cellar, cause weather models are predicting a Level 4 strengthening throughout the week into a full blown Level 5 by landfall Friday night!

 Unfortunately no IHOP for 50 miles will be willing to serve us alcohol, but never fear, there are numerous establishments nearby who are willing to accommodate our elite group and our specific needs. The venue of choice, The Broken Yolk in Pacific Beach. I think this establishment will fill our needs and our bellies. The reservation is for 9:00am Saturday morning.

 We’re planning a bit of a pre-party Friday night at my house before making our way out to nearby bars. There are also a few birthdays this weekend so we have even more reason to celebrate. Here are a few important addresses for you:

 Minister of MOM’s house:
4667 Ocean Blvd. #312
San Diego, .CA 92109

(You’ll need to be rung in to get upstairs)

Minister of R & S’s house:
4220 Noyes St.
San Diego, CA. 92109

 Broken Yolk restaurant:
1851 Garnet Ave.
Pacific Beach, CA. 92109
858-270-YOLK (9655)

 These locations are all off the I-5 South at Garnet/Balboa exit. Aka, Pacific Beach.

 *One last thing, places to sleep. I think both San Diego residents would happily welcome any member into our respective homes. There is floor space and a few couches for all, but no 4 star accommodations, so bring a blanket and pillow. If anyone wanted to split a hotel room to alleviate the load, feel free but I think we can fit most if not all.

This Weekend’s Forecast: Flapjacks and Beer with a chance of Fun.

Who's your MOM?

If we were going to do a last minute secret santa for IFS, this site could make it happen.  I would just need to put in everyone's email addresses, and everyone would have to check their email, but this could let us randomly draw names and such.  If not this year, it is a good idea for next year.

Have we forgotten about the I.F.S. calendar?  If our horribly amazing/embarrassing photo shoot was all for naught, I’ll be beside myself.  Here’s an idea:  Dane Campbell as Minister of the Annual Calendar.  To make up for his poor showing last month, he could act fast and have calendars printed for the December meeting, just in time to ring in the New Year with our beautiful faces.  This would require getting the pictures and actually going to Kinko’s.  This could be done in an afternoon, or at the pace of the Minister of Wardrobe and be printed and ready for 2007.

We could also make a Mayan calendar so Baez can read it.

Out like a trout

Minister of DAD (can I call myself that?)

Found this little tool over at Life Hacker.  Cooking By Numbers is a web based form that lets you input the general ingredients that you have on hand, and then it will tell you what you can make with the ingredients.  I did a little test and checked only items that would be used in pancakes, and it told me to make pancakes.  Not the best test, but a good start.  If only I had this during the last four years of college, oh the days of the crackhouse when all that was in the refrigerator was eggs, chees, tortillas, and butter...mmm...quesadillas...

With this month's meeting fast approaching, I thought everyone could use a reminder of the deliciousness that is the flapjack.  Here is a site with over one hundred flapjack recipes.  For the artsy types, here is a gallery of flapjack drawings.  For the brainy types, here is a link to a puzzle from 1996 that involves pancakes - this is really only for the Minister of Finance.  If that isn't enough to get you salivating, think of what you could do with this bad boy, the Unimatic II, a pancake machine that can make 180 large size pancakes in an hour.  Good flapjack.

Make sure to mark your calendar for a trip to SB Sunday Feb. 5, we must follow our own example set last super bowl sunday, and in starting the tradition, I have personally inquired on the hiring of our own waitress. After visiting a certain establishment where I may be able to find someone willing to subject their body to our critique, I feel we may have a winner. I know that this is early but it would be better to plan advance to avoid any last second cancellations. In the event of a cancellation our house is close to the hostile, so we could always hang around and see what foreigner may want some extra spending money. Of course, we will speak of this event in the meeting to come further in the week. Godspeed.

Ministers and Rabbi,
     Good evening everyone.  I'm just posting to remind/confirm/discuss a couple items of business regarding our December meeting. 

First off, I hope everyone remembers that the December meeting is to take place on the 17th, in San Diego, California - our actual point of congregation is yet to be determined by our fellow San Diegan Ministers.

Second, last meeting we decided that our newest member would be Jordan.  I think it's fair to say that you S.B. Ministers know him best, so you guys should probably handle the invite.  I for one think that this end of the year meeting would be a great time to take on a new Minister.

Third, last meeting we also decided that our post-meal act of leisure would be basketball.  So, in case you forgot, bring some shorts and running shoes with you.  The Minister of RS has informed me that there are several courts for us to choose from, so location shouldn't be a problem.

I think that about covers it.  I know that we're still in debate over whether we should have a gift exchange.  Sounds like a great idea, but, the Minister of ID is still owed for the shirts - and before we go making plans for more spending, I think we need to take care of past debts first.  Feel free to comment on anything I just covered.  Have a good flapjack.

-Minister of C. & R.

If you search for Baez is Gay in Google you will find our site #1.  Cheers to spreading the word.  Our site is being seen by more than just ourselves.  Just a notice that not everything here is private.  Monkey of Finance get dere!

Spending every weekend away from home can be tiring, and the thought of sleeping on a love seat makes me ache with defeat.  This and many other weekends are better spent resting for the eventual weekends away.

Resting is comprised of four parts: sleeping in, watching sports w/ booze, playing videogames, and going to the movies/out to drink.  This would be an ideal resting day - lots of sitting and minimal movement would be required.  With college football all but done, except for Jan. 4th of course, Saturdays are open for the other three.

Tis the season for peliculas, but be careful there is a lot of crap out there, and your Tivo may be the only one you can trust...

• The Chronicles of Narnia - Rotten Tomatoes Score: 80%  MetaCritic Score : 78
• Good early buzz, this movie may deliver for those disappointed in this year's after-school special that was the Goblet of Fire.  Long lines are guaranteed for this one so buy tickets early, go drink at the local restaurant/bar and sneak past the parents hauling kids and shove the old folks down, and good seats will be yours.  If you're desperate for a good seat, take your leftover Halloween costume and wear it to the theatre.  No one wants to talk to or be associated with a person who dressed up for the movies.

• Brokeback Mountain - Rotten Tomatoes Score: 83% MetaCritic: 84
• If you spent your pre-Halloween days satisfied with your idea to be one of the two confused gay cowboys from this movie, but then realized on Halloween that it isn't the conversation starter you had imagined, this is the movie for you this weekend.  It has the best preliminary buzz, but we all know how critics red rocket for the genre reversing drama types.   Lines are sure to be short, but I would recommend Walk the Line if you're looking for a drama fix.

More to come...

As a site about our world renowned flapjack society, we should speak more of our overwhelming experience with the culinary arts, and most importantly pancakes.  While I'm too lazy to type my own recipes for the world famous Bunch blueberry pancakes; a long overlooked position springs forward - a minister of the culinary arts.  I know I know, the Rabbi of Leisure has always taken care of this job, but this is a new job for a new minister.  We need to perfect our recipe.

On our two day drunk in San Diego last weekend we stumbled upon a good idea with the creation of a Minister of Discipline. However, I would like to amend the suggestion. I love Dane Campbell. I love that man with the kind of love that can only be shared between two men. He is one of the nicest people I know. And that is where the problem lays. He is too nice to be Minister of Discipline. The position of Minister of Discipline requires an iron fist. And the purpose of a position of Minister of Discipline would be to punish those who engage in the exact behavior that Mr. Campbell showed us at his inaugural meeting. So, what I propose is that the responsibilities of a Minister of Discipline be attached to an existing position. I think that position should be mine. For a few months now, I have felt underutilized as Minister of Defense. My responsibilities are not as clear cut as others, and I find myself wanting to give without knowing how. Now I'll admit, the stolen trophy is mostly my fault, though I share some responsibility with the Minister of Media and Technology. And I am doing my best to protect us from our new and unseen foe. But I feel that I can take on additional duties. So I propose a formal change in title from "Minister of Defense" to "Minister of Defense and Discipline." This would make me Minister of DAD. I think this is appropriate also because of my proximity to Minister of MOM in our seating arrangement.

Also, to address a matter of recent internal conflict, Minister of Finance, I love you, man. You are a good friend, and one of the original Bajonians, so I only say this out of affection. I know English is difficult to learn as a second language, but, being the academic you are, you owe it to yourself work a little harder on your writing. Your grammar and punctuation leave something to be desired. Next time have Nova proofread for you. He's a smart fellow.

Cheers and Good Flapjack

The MOF and I were talking about possibly having an IFS gift exchange at the San Diego meeting.  Those who are here in santa barbara can draw names out of a hat.  those who are not present can have names drawn by a non-member, which will be placed immediately into an individual envelope and sent to those not present for the drawing.  doing so will uphold the secrecy of all secret santa's.  the gift should be approx. 10-20 bucks. 

check out this guy!

shake, shake shake, lean, "flapjack"

-MOL

Called to convene in San Diego, the Minister of C+R and myself attended various IFS approved activities in an effort to find a new position for our fellow newly accepted minister.  In an early morning bloody mary contest, the MOD and MMOM proposed the Minister of Discipline as the new position.
This position carries the responsibility of maintaining IFS standards at all times.  We are all devoted members, but some of us need to be reminded when we are not Ministering at 100%.  This should be voted on next meeting.

Wish you guys were here enjoying the food, but we have you all in the im thankful for notes!

   im glad to see that everyone is posting now. thanks bunch for helping facilitate the process by teaching the 'special' ones how to do it.  so i sat down yesterday after saving Christmas, and my cup runneth over with IFS spirit.  i sat down and began to type what i think turned out to be a pretty sweet fight song.  i will leave it to the MAP to place his own spin on it, but i just wanted to get a feel for what you guys thought of it lyrically.  i wrote it to the tune and beat of my high school's alma mater, if that gives you any idea of where i might have been going with this.  suggestions for lyrics are welcome / encouraged. 

                                                                                                       

http://www.sr.se/P1/src/sing/index.htm?key=UZ3KK7LT

shake, shake, shake, lean, ''flapjack''.

I know what you’re thinking. Yes it is about time, so here it is …..(drum roll)……NUMBER ONE! (applaud and roar) Thank you, thank you. Let me start by saying….(cant hear over applauds). Thank you again, thank you very much.  Let me start by expressing my gratitude to all of those who made this possible. To all those who have posted here before me and to Bunch for facilitating this. I am very honored and pleased to present to all of you this, my very own first post. (more roar) May there be many more to share in the near future with all you fine ministers and rabbi. Cheers!

 

I hate to follow on such a sour note but there is an issue that must be addressed. It has been rumored to me by a source that wishes to remain anonymous, that I have been the subject of some ill remarks. Upon scrutinizing the website it didn’t take too long for my suspicions to be confirmed by a certain intellectual and his witty title. Ah yes, the type reminded me of a certain aggressor who consequently might be entrusted with the responsibility of defense.  Or perhaps I was wrong. Maybe this was a mistake and came from an academic.  Maybe he’s just like some of us who stayed to extend our education rather than expedite it and maybe it was a learned mistake.  Sadly I saw the culprits name at the bottom of his blabber.

 

So baumann, next time you post, try something with content. Although coming from the competency of a minister who couldn’t defend sacred I.F.S. property when it was right under our noses, I wouldn’t be surprised to see a ‘baez is still gay’ post tomorrow to confirm my skepticism of your scholarly prowess.

 

Moving on, congratulations to all those who participated today in financing the good souls of the boys and girls club with hard work. Good ol’ flapjack.  For those interested, Esteban and I got some info about coaching several different sports at the club. Each of us could even coach our own teams in the same league.  This would be pretty sweet.

 

As far as next months meeting goes I have a proposal. If were not set on

San Diego

as a destination, we could consider Rosco’s Chicken and Waffles. Conveniently located between

Santa Barbara

and

San Diego

this legendary diner offers some of the best cuisine around. Our only concern would be a backroom and the beers but there are quite a few locations in the LA area so we have some options. Maybe the minister of C&R could call around and see if its possible for a location to meet our needs.

 

Before I end this first post let me say to those that have been offended, I’ve got some making up to do. Nothing but the best wishes of flapjack dreams for all.

 

Minister of Finance

YES! We did it, we did the first phase of "Operation Saving Christmas!" This phase consisted of wreath making, but you cant have Christmas without some bomb wreaths. Fidel was flawless on his hook making without him I don't know how those wreaths would of held up! Mike made a little buddy named Devin, who was a very ambitous little guy. Schroeder, Bernie and I worked on placing the hooks and pine cones on with Martha Stewart like techniques. Baez later came and him and I did some final touches to the wreaths so that they could sell for the $35 dollars each they were worth after we were done. We had a good time but this is only the first phase there is still lots of work to be done and I.F.S will not back down from the challenge. We cant let down these kids whom we have grown to love so dearly, who knows they may one day be the future of our secret organization. Which by the way made it hard to explain the question "what organization do you guys actually represent?"  Baez and I had to do some dancing around this question but I think we difused their curiosity. (They may think were pedophiles.) So I want to once again thank Mike, Bernie, Schroeder, Fidel, and Baez for making this a success. There is although much to be done in "Operation Saving Christmas" and we cant let down those damn kids. There will also be some pics coming soon, so Bunch stop riding me.  Anyway  good job fellas in helping to save Christams one wreath at a time!

I'm all for the advancement of technologies, especially when they improve beer distribution efficiency, but why the fuck didn't they release this four years ago.  This would have saved me hours of awkward shoving and the general feeling of worthlessness standing around a spigot controlled by the endentured sap who sits at the keg way too long.  At $100 for an Adolphus appropriate version, IFS should look into investing in one of these.  The Uber Tap, a three pronged tap with a foot pump.

Baumann, why do you keep bagging on the ungraduated. I don't know what prompted that but my feelings are hurt. Leave me and Mark out of this, I am actually making this post in the greater UC Santa Barbara library.Moving on to business, as far as the next meeting, if the MOM has exhausted all of the local IHOP's in town and none could fit our accomodations then I think it doesn't matter where we eat as long as our constitution is upheld.  Do not fear the change, Turnpike will always be there when the occasion calls.  We should also collectively plan on playing basketball after the meeting, and maybe we can pick more fair teams than that slaughter called a football game we had afterwards.  I think it will be a grand time. And look at my new long sleeve yellow shirt and snazzy vest, thats me leaving the library listening to some good ol' fashioned traveling music.

So I just got a call from good ol' Earl at the Boys and Girls club. I dont know if you guys saw the I.F.S spotlight that he pointed into the night sky, but it looks like the Boys and Girls club needs our help. He asked if we could show up tommorrow at 2:00, I asked "how many do you need?"  and he replied "how many do you got?" there was a definite sense of desperation and urgency in his voice. So If anyone or everyone could show up Friday Dec. 2nd 2:00 p.m at 602 west anapamu st. you would all be better men for it. I already told sweet Earl and those cute little kids that Christmas will be coming this year, and I.F.S is bringing it! I also told him that I will have atleast three to four volunteers, but the more the "merrier". O.k enough jokes this is serious, we have been called upon to do our duty and we must answer that call because to many times people have hung up, or they let it go to their answer machine or voice mail and never get back to them. Not I.F.S though, we will answer that call and we will bring Christmas to those damn cute puppy faced kids.

I don't know, Bernie.  Why do ask if I have reached into my pockets lately?  Certainly no one has "told me" about what you speak of.  I'm not sure what you are talking about.  Last time I checked, Minister of Finance and I are even, so I hope you're not referring to something he may or may not have done.  If you are, and if our soon-to-graduate-if-we-keep-our-fingers-crossed Minister of Finance has decided to violate our proverbial cease-fire, then... well... I guess we will just have to wait and see what may or may not happen next...

Now, Minister of Letters, what exactly is it that no one has "told me?"

this is a test to figure out how to post photos. . .  and i just felt this photo needed to be seen.  also, to the minister of defense. . . i don't know if anyone has told you yet, but have you reached into your pockets lately??

minutes from the one year anniversary on the way. . . wham jam