January 2006 Archives

"They never talked about the sex, let it happen, at first only in the tent at night, then in the full daylight with hot sun striking down, and at evening in the fire glow, quick, rough, laughing and snorting, no lack of noises, but saying not a goddamn word execpt once Ennis said, "I'm not no queer," and Jack jumped in with "Me neither.  A one-shot thing.  Nobody's business but ours."

-An excerpt from 'Brokeback Mountain,' a short story by Pulitzer prize-winning author Annie Proulx.

So, in thinking of the upcoming weekend, I have booked the cocktail waitress/stripper, under the condition of a flat fee of $150 for her. That comes to about ten dollars a person, but there is the optional tips which I hope all of us gentlemen decide to engage. I personally plan on spending about 40-60 on tipping her, trust me the service will be worth it, she will be bringing us drinks and wearing various costumes that you would expect from a dancer.  There may also be the option of her having a friend  work with her at the same base cost, so that would be 20 dollars flat for each person. This is still not a whole lot of money considering the service provided. Don't forget that we also need money for alcohol and food for the day, and not to mention the previous day of drinking and feasting on flapjacks.  So remember to save some money throughout the week because it has the potential to be a slightly expensive weekend, but don't worry baez it will all be worth it. Hold on to your piggy bank during the week and look to spend at least over a c-note for the weekend. With the amount of people our organization has expanded to, we can all pitch in and make this one of the best weekends and superbowls that we may or may not remember. It would help to have replies from every active member to show that we are acting as a cohesive unit.

well, not quite yet. . . but until the ocho is inevetibly created, we will have to settle for the  'Fusion,' Gillette's  new five-bladed razor.  and if you thought five blades would be the ticket to the best shave on earth, wait until you discover the sixth blade intended for the sculpting of facial hair and sideburns.  almost as sweet as the new gillette fusion is the teaser commercial that depicts an alien space craft that has crash landed on earth, which allegedly leads to the discovery of the new shaving system.  the commercial does not show the razor,(im assuming that there will be a pretty epic super bowl spot) however through my connections, i have photographic documentation of the fusion: 

and there you have it. . . see you all at the super bowl, and happy shaving!

-Letters

This has to be one of the most magnificent music videos ever created:

The Minister of Finance's Pics from the Baja Trip are here.

After a disappointing round of AFC and NFC Championship games, I can't believe the Broncos crumbled like that, I am stoked for what should be an exciting match-up between the Steelers and Seahawks.  To add to the excitement however, I feel like I should be placing a friendly wager on the game.  The two lines I found on the game as of today were -3.5/-4 with the Steelers favored with an over/under of 47.  If anyone is interested let me know.

Did anyone else notice the Black Rebel Motorcycle Club in the OC this past week?  I don't know how you could miss it, they replayed the always-popular "Shuffle Your Feet" at least three times in the episode.  Is the OC the pinnacle of popularity for a band?  You can be sure it just dropped the average age of the fanbase by five years, but what's next? A hit video on TRL?  It's a fine line that popular bands skate between popular and over-commercialized. What do you think?

Fellow ministers,

As we wait anticipating the infallible glory of yet another meeting, I write to bring to attention something that our great society is in need of. No, not strippers to serve us hors d'oeuvres every weekend (although that would be sweet), I'm talking about something else. Physical activity, or "fitness" as it has sometimes been referred to, could benefit each and every one of us. This would be less excruciating in a group or with the support of another minister. This way some of those who are a bit chubs can get a chance to shed some unwanted poundage. Don't get me wrong, video games are sweet Bunch but they aren't helping you get rid of that gut. Basketball after the meeting is a good start, let’s stick to it. Someone could even be in charge of organizing post pancake physical activities or we could assign this as a future position. Minister of physical activities?

The MOD and I have begun a little endeavor ourselves by taking on the feat of running a marathon.  It will be a great way to get in shape while fostering some healthy competition. Baumann may even find a sport he’s good at; Indonesia and Mexico have shown that surfing isn’t it.

Just think about this next time you’re at work when after stuffing yourself full of greasy meal you feel another roll crease your belly. Let’s bring on the b-ball bitches.

Cheers

Check out this guy!

So lets not be little pussies and play some basketball this meeting. I want to swat the shit out of esteban and baez again, in the routing of a tournament between the manor and the view.  We did get the best draftpick since reggie bush in baumando. Regardless, bring your shit and i'll pack the lunch. bitches.oh and i call converse for my first pick.

For anyone who witnessed the two day scareathon that was Silent Hill 4 : The Room at Seaview, there is a trailer for the live action movie coming out April 21st.  By the looks of the trailer, it looks like it will match the creapiness of the game.

Hello all. Happy New Year! I Love you Guys.

At our Last meeting I proposed a “Guest Member of the Month” to be worked into our meetings. The purpose of the “Guest Member” is threefold:

 1) To give potential members a trial meeting without having to fully commit. Sometimes the potential members we nominate are only known to a few people. (The group is getting a little large, and we need to be selective with our picks. Otherwise we could be facing 40 member meetings and $5,000 checks. And frankly I think the MOF had enough trouble with the last bill of $200+.)

2) To allow old friends and out of town visitors to witness and participate in one of our meetings. I know many people are aware of the meetings and I also know many of these people want in. And well, I can’t blame them.

3) The “Guest Member of the Month” will add a new dimension to meetings. The guest can offer an outsider’s perspective on the meetings and also hopefully add ideas on ways in expand and enrich our organization.

 The Rules:

1) Seeing as how we are a very selective group we need to extend that element of discipline to our guest privileges. It goes without saying that any guest considered must be deserving of such a privilege.

2) The guest must have considerable support from the group. First of all, one member will sponsor the guest. The “Primary Sponsor” will be responsible for drawing up the required paperwork, submitting the paperwork to the Minister of Member of the Month and is directly responsible for the guest and their behavior during the meeting. There will also be a Co-sponsor and three additional sponsors who are required to sign the application.

3) “The Application”, There is a specific format which must be adhered to.

 IFS Guest Member of the Month Application

 Primary Sponsor: Name
GMOM Name: Name

I __________ nominate _________ for the “Guest Member of the Month” for the month of _________.

(State your reason for the nomination)

 Sincerely,

(Signature)_____
Primary Sponsor

(Signature)_____
Co-Sponsor

(Signature)_____
Sponsor 1

(Signature)_____
Sponsor 2

(Signature)_____
Sponsor 3

 4) The application must be submitted to the Minister of MOM at least 12 hours before the meeting for approval. The applications must be submitted either in person, writing, mail, napkin, IFS letterhead or via email.

5) There will be no more than 2 Guests per month, unless in extremely extenuating circumstances. (Vegas?) Such a circumstance must be explicitly stated in the reason section on the application and submitted 24 hour in advance.

6) No Girls Allowed. Over 21 years of age.

7) Lastly and perhaps the most important stipulation to the “Guest Member of the Month” is they must be present the night before the meeting in order to become acquainted with (get drunk with) the members he does not know as well. Very important.

 It is my hope this added element of the “Guest Member of the Month” will only serve to deepen and expand the International Flapjack Society for the better.

 On a personal note: Sorry this post is so longwinded, but rules are rules and I felt they needed to be specifically outlined to maintain order. Please follow these rules, it’s important and applications can be rejected if the format is not followed closely. (Minister of Wardrobe: Can we put together a few shirts, either brown IFS shirts or even a nice white tee-shirt with IFS sharpied on , I almost think that might be more appropriate for a guest, since you’ve got to earn the brown $50 shirt. ) Without the rules we’re just a bunch of munks eating pancakes and getting drunk.

 Lastly my contact info, apps can be submitted to:
Address:
4667 Ocean Blvd. #312
San Diego, CA
92109

Email: andrew_fricker@hotmail.com (must receive the same email from all 5 sponsors)

Or the good ole in person hand off.

 Pancake joke of the month:

 A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Fricker, 5, Baez, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait.'"

Fricker turned to his younger brother and said, "Baez, you be da Jesus!"

The original three Bajonians are Mexico-bound.  There should be decent waves, mucho tequila, camping in the rain, and a whole lot of Baez speaking his native language.  It should be good times for the weekend and a welcome respite from Tinseltown traffic and the jobby-job.  Hopefully Baez won’t make me beat his ass again.

Adios.

MOD

I would like to make a post on honor of my beautiful manager, Ashley M.  Thanks to this goddess sent from above, I am graciously able to entertain our guests for the superbowl weekend. If any of you Jamoches, has the time to stop by the blue beetle, you should thank her and bathe her feet in your tears for the blessings she has bestowed.

As a gaming connoisseur and long time Zelda advocate, I have prided myself on owning the latest and greatest at all times.  Waiting for the Xbox 360 has been grinding my gears for weeks now, but fortunately the Minister of C+R has assuaged my desire to play the glorious machine.  Talking to him however, I realized that not everyone reads the video game rags as much as I do, so I thought I would let those lucky bastards at the Bath house know, if they don't already, that Xbox Live may be the saving grace for the system over the next few months.
    The release list is a little soft for the new system, as all new systems are so hurriedly rushed to stores, publishers either do the same with their games or wait till their done, which can often taken 6-18 months after the release of the system.  Here is the release list over at IGN.  As I have found to be the case with the PSP, which still, almost a year later, has only a few top-level games.
    With the XBOX 360 this unfortunately may be the case, but not to worry Microsoft planned to assuage your hunger with demos and retro games all Winter long.  The demo for Fight Night Round 3 is already out on the Xbox Live Marketplace, and a couple others like PGR 3.  Of the retro games, Geometry Wars is the consensual leader around the Internet/Nerd/Game Wizard water cooler, but Street Fighter II is coming in a few months with on line play and such.  So the Minister of M+T could beat down the Minister of ID 140 miles away, nice!  The retro games come at a price though, but nothing compared to the $60 games out now, least its not the $75 Super Nintendo used to charge, damn that was expensive.

Any who, I look forward to the ass-kicking that can be had in the coming years.  I know I will be ponying up to buy my own soon enough, but until then I will just have to play with my Ball-In-A-Cup.

Update: We created a gamertag on Live, Monk42.  Bring it!

Update #2: Geometry Wars is a maddeningly addictive game.  Check out this video of a dude getting 2.6 million pts, all for the sake of a little appreciation. (Joystiq)

Ministers and Rabbi,
     I'm posting to let everyone know that our next meeting will take place on Superbowl weekend, the weekend of Feb. 3rd, 4th, and 5th.  However, it is strongly encouraged that all Ministers (and Rabbi ) meet in their respective residencies during the month of January.  As my esteemed Secretary of Arousal (The Minister of International Affairs) put it, this would prevent us from 'starting the year off on the wrong foot - whem jem.'  So, each IFS faction - SB, LA, OC, SD, and Australia - could organize their own official 'gatherings,' so as to maintain the IFS spirit for this first and most crucial month. 
   
      MOD, seeing as that you're the only IFS in your area, you may want to join up with another faction - and of course, the OC would be honored to have you.  But then again, I think we'd all love knowing that you walked into an IHOP alone, ate breakfast, put back four buds, then left.  That'd be pretty Baumanesque.

     Anyways, mark your calendars for the first weekend of Febuary.  And this time, lets play basketball.  Maybe some of you Bath jiggas could seek out a court.  With that, I hope everyone had a pleasant holiday break.  Here's a picture of my house wit' all the lights up, and my dad being  an angry Silverback.

Good Flapjack,
The Minister of C. & R.

The KING MONK:

Sorry for the delay, but here are the minutes from last months meeting:

1.) Baez has difficulty calculating the bill.

2.)  Baez's proposal for IFS bank account rejected, and by rejected I mean it was thrown to the ground and we stepped on its neck.

3.)  Speaking of getting thrown to the ground, Baez gets ass handed to him in beach wrestling by the MOD.

4.)  Baez gets kicked out of the bar.

Well, that pretty much does it for the minutes. . . Baez, hopefully you will find this funny, 'cause I know everyone else will.

For anyone who could not attend the New Years bash at the Bath house, and the subsequent bowling night, the pictures are posted on Flickr here.
This field test demonstrated that my camera phone does not have the lightning quick speed necessary to capture our mile a minute lives, and so I look forward to higher quality images from our new Minister of Photography.

Short and sweet. Celebrating the birth of a new year with friends at the Bath residence last night was fantastic. But the feeling of keeling over in the premier men's fashion boutique on the central coast due to exhaustion and the smoking of two Rojas cigars would be what we consider in the industry as a faux pas. Also, M. of C.&R., whats the deal with next meeting for January? Weekend of 21st? All the best and an amazing flapjack in the new year. Not like this...