April 2006 Archives

-    MySpace may be a  free service, but beware they are watching you, and they own anything you do and post on there. 

-    Maybe YouTube needs to start selling some DVD's of all that content.

Fleeing the clutches of the Succubus, Pitt's soul escaped to take a picture for the teaser trailer of his next movie "The Assasination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford".  Now on the loose, his soul can begin the search for his missing balls.

Hasselhoff will be playing Captain Hook in a Peter Pan production in London next December.  We already know he can sing and dance with aliens, but acting?  That's a stretch.

In my quest to find everything relevant and irrelevant to life, and achieve ULTIMATE POWER, my brother pointed me to this video podcast vidcast video show animated lite brite three minute comedy show labelled 'theshow' with zefrank.  Trust me it's funny.  If you don't think it's funny Baez will give you a dollar.

With the largest game expo/show of the year, E3, coming up in a few weeks, game announcements will begin to pour in, but none more important than the one made today.  VT 3 will be hitting the Xbox 360 and PS3 in Spring 2007.

At first I thought this was a recap of IFS Las Vegas:

Police hunt Leone 'killer chimps'

Police said Bruno had instigated the attack

Armed reinforcements are combing the area after a Sierra Leonean died and four people were seriously injured.

Security personnel said the five men were attacked on Sunday after entering the Tacugama Chimpanzee Sanctuary.

Angry chimps killed and mutilated the driver. Three North Americans are in a hospital in the capital, Freetown.

Another Sierra Leonean was also badly injured - and reportedly needed to have his hand amputated.

A worker at Tacugama told the BBC that some 24 chimpanzees had escaped, while six had already returned.

The violent attack was instigated by Bruno, the first chimpanzee taken in by the sanctuary and its alpha-male, along with two other primates, police said.

Villagers warned

Armed police arrived after the attack and fired shots which caused panic among local people.

Tourism Minister Okere Adams visited the scene just outside Freetown and said police were searching the area to find the chimps and bring them back to the sanctuary.

"We are combing the area and beyond to bring the chimpanzees back but would not harm them," a police officer told AFP news agency.

The authorities have warned residents of the mountain villages around the sanctuary not to approach any chimpanzees they come across.

The sanctuary was set up a decade ago to give shelter to orphaned and abandoned chimpanzees.

Across West Africa, chimpanzees are under threat from hunting, logging and human encroachment.  

(via BBC News)                  

After posting "Commercials That Don't Suck," I realized that the primary alcoholic benefactor of our institution has been making some of the best commercials from the start.  Here is a tribute to a lifetime of Budweiser ad wizardry (with a worst Bud commercials follow-up tomorrow):
(Click Continue Reading to see the videos.  This way the homepage isn't slowed down with video loading.)

Ok now don't freak out or anything, but Steven Seagal and his band will be touring their way through Orange County with a show at the Coach House in San Juan Capistrano, which is sandwiched between Dana Point and San Clemente, on June 1st.  I will be reserving a table with my brother and anyone else interested in the show should do the same.  Front row at a Seagal show would be epic.  If you're are not convinced of the seriousness of this post just check out his site which is filled with mp3s and some videos for your previewing pleasure.

We all know that most commercials suck big time.  It is in their nature to bother and harass viewers until purchases are made, and until a few years ago, every man, woman and child were powerless to avoid them.  With today's technology commercials can be avoided alltogether.  So where can these ads be shown?  No agencies haven't developed an advertisement anal projector system just yet, the time wasting void known as the internet has enveloped all video known to man, and in the process, absorbed ads.  For all the money that is spent on these :30 masterpieces someone better watch them.  Here is a new Amex commercial directed by Wes Anderson, and a Playstation 2 commercial from a year ago.  Videos after the jump.

Fricker's Song Pick:

Our beloved Minister of Auditory Pleasures has been slacking a bit on the new muzac. Do I hear Continental Breakfast Award? (However I loved the Ralph Stanley and the Clinch Mountain Boys, very nice.)

So I decided to pick up the slack by recommending a song. Enjoy Gnarles Barkley, "Crazy". Kinda like Charles Barkley only Gnar Gnar.

                           Listen to Crazy

Note: this Post is illustrated with pics of my Singapore trip: "An America Monk in Singapore."

Anyone who was 'lucky' enough to experience the Midtown Drug and Alcohol Circus: Summer '05  will remember an unofficial IFS 'Gathering' that rivaled any official meeting.  We traveled to a foreign IHOP, snuck in an 18 of bud light (...adolphus...) and after wards, played dozens of frustrating games of Winning 11 until I wanted to punch Fidel in the face much more than I usually do.  Anyways, I know that this time, IFS: THE GATHERING: LOS ANGELES: APRIL '06 will prove to be just as much fun and maybe even more (depending if we can hook-up Winning 11 to the TVs at the Roosevelt). 

I've talked to almost everyone regarding the logistics, so I'll be brief -

-2 nights in the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel (April 28th, 29th),

-A joint celebration of two Birthdays on Saturday night: Amanda Farrell's and Chris "You've Just been Winkleman'd" Baez Winkleman's

-Gathering on Saturday or Sunday Morning, at Roscoe's Fried Chicken and Waffles, don't worry they can flap a jack too

-Saturday Night/Sunday Morning: Baez gets too drunk, climbs to the roof to ponder life's big questions, then falls down a flight of stairs and E loses his job

So that's it.  Two nights and one day of monking it in LA, MOD style.  Of course, he won't be there - he'll be running 26 miles for the greater good - you know, getting the IFS name out dere, sometimes offense is the best Defense.  Of course, things could have been COORDINATED a little better.  Believe me, I know (and before you throw any insults around, remember that you're talking to the first Minister to earn dual honors of MOM and CB).  Comment or post if you have any questions or comments, or give me a call.  Good night,

And Good Flapjack.

Minister of Rousin'

P.S. Our May meeting will get us back on track- we'll have a solid, productive one full of voting, speeches and proposals.  It will take place on May 20th and it will be referred to as IFS: THE RECONSTRUCTION.

This is both relaxing and stressful.  Makes me want a mini-car though.

There should have been a follow-up to last week's post about Cartoon Wars, as the 2nd part was debatebly one of the best episodes of South Park in its 143 episode run.  Check out this detailed wiki on the episode if you want to catch all the references made in the episode. Killing two manatees with one stone, Family Guy has a video game coming out this December.  Since Simpsons: Hit and Run is the only game of a primetime cartoon TV show that was somewhat enjoyable, the manatees better be nudging those balls as fast as they can.  I want to see another Michael Winslow/ Cadet Larvell Jones reference so put that ball back in the tank, and be sure to add Martin Lawrence to the tank (he isn't mocked nearly enough). I'm still ill from watching Black Knight last knight.

Ever wonder why you shout obsenities at the T.V. when you watch sports? Well recent scientific discoveries in the science of neurons that allow humans/monkeys to empathize and feel what they see may be the reason.  Tired of reading this site then check out the 14 min. documentary over at NOVA.  Mmmm mirror neurons...

    (Creating Passionate Users)

In my ongoing rants against movie sequels, I remembered the one movie that should be made into a sequel, but never will - The Wizard.  Stay Alive's dismal showing at the box office doesn't boast well for future video game movies, but that movie doesn't boast well for society on the whole.  I expect to see many more video game movies to hit in the next few years, and all of them would be smart to take a lesson from the classic tale of an underpriveleged, semi-autistic child, whose sister recently died, travelling half-way across the U.S. in a mad dash to get to Universal Studios to compete in a video game championship.  Oh and did I mention he is able to make the whole trip with Fred Savage, that takes concentration above and beyond any video games I've played, adding Christian Slater and Beau Bridges to the mix doesn't hurt the movie either.

If you're not convinced of the gloriousness of this movie check out the clip below:

1. Flying Biscuit Cafe
Dreamy-good organic oatmeal 'cakes here may qualify as health food. -- Atlanta

2. Camille's Restaurant
Pancakes drizzled with Godiva white chocolate sauce or tropical fruit -- Key West, Fla.

3. Briarpatch Restaurant
Think Hawaiian 'cakes with coconut, macadamia nuts and pineapple. -- Winter Park, Fla.

4. Griddle Cafe
Catch young celebs ordering Kahlua buttermilk pancakes. -- West Hollywood, Calif.

5. T.C. Eggington's
Go for the Brit-style 'Girdle Cakes' with extra-whipped honey butter. -- Mesa, Ariz.

6. Cameo Cafe West
Their ''full-acre'' blueberry pancakes spill off the rim of the plate. -- Portland, Ore.

7. Beach Grass Cafe
Dessert meets breakfast with a pineapple upside-down pancake. -- South Solana Beach, Calif.

8. Dottie's True Blue Cafe
Get the house favorite: luscious blueberry cornmeal pancakes. -- San Francisco

9. Norma's
Banana-macadamia nut flap jacks with banana-brown sugar butter -- New York

10. Pamela's
Hubcap-sized strawberry flapjacks? Irresistible. -- Pittsburgh

11. PJ's Pancake House
Serving celebs like Brooke Shields and Harry Hamlin for four decades. -- Princeton, N.J.

12. Sorella's
Ginger's blueberry-hazelnut pancakes are worth the hour wait. -- Boston

13. Magnolia Pancake Haus
Pfannekuchen proves Germans (even those from Texas) know pancakes. -- San Antonio

14. Melange
Dutch Baby: Egg-rich batter + fresh berries = oven-puffed perfection. -- St. Louis

15. Al's Breakfast
Legendary 'cakes with sour cream, served up in a 12-seat diner. -- Minneapolis

16. IHOP -- Goleta

Legendary flapjacks with a legendary crowd.  Don't forget your side of funny face

So yesterday I says to Baez, I says, "What do the Bunny and the Eggs have to do with the resurrection of my Lord? Apparently in the British Isles and Germany, the spring fertility festival involved eggs and bunnies, because they are natural symbols of fertility, and it also involved worshipping trees. The Christian missionaries who brought Christianity to the British Isles and to Germany suffered quite a lot of grief at the hands of our ancestors when they chopped down the sacred trees to demonstrate that   they weren’t gods. Since the people did not actually worship the bunnies and eggs, the missionaries figured they could just Christianize them. So the custom began of painting Christian art on eggshells and they just tolerated the bunnies.

Well i still feel a bit confused, but if there's one thing i can tolerate, it's Christianizing symbols.
Yay God!

Easter has slowly become a scarier holiday than Halloween.  Movie and Video Game appearances by these evil, devil worshipping bunnies has become more prevalent in the last few years.  It's good to see that they love pancakes just as much as us.  That picture rocks.

If you don't want to watch the Lakers give the Suns a little smackdown preview of the playoffs, check out these trailer/sneak peeks from two movies that are guaranteed to break the marginalia that has been coming out of Hollywood.

The Fountain - Darren Aronofsky (Requiem for A Dream, Pi)

Southland Tales - Richard Kelly (Donnie Darko, Domino)

Update:

German Protestants wanted to retain the Catholic custom of eating colored eggs for Easter, but did not want to introduce their children to the Catholic rite of fasting. Eggs were forbidden to Catholics during the fast of Lent, which was the reason for the abundance of eggs at Easter time.

The idea of an egg-laying rabbit came to the United States in the 18th century. German immigrants in the Pennsylvania Dutch area told their children about the "Osterhase" (also: "Oschter Haws"). "Hase" means "hare", not rabbit, and in Northwest European folklore the "Easter Bunny" indeed is a hare, not a rabbit.

Only good children received gifts of colored eggs in the nests that they made in their caps and bonnets before Easter. Presumably, the Oschter Haws laid them when the children were not looking.

A hundred years later Jakob Grimm wrote of long-standing similar myths in Germany itself. Noting many related landmarks and customs, Grimm suggested that these derived from legends of Ostara.

(wikipedia.org)

Here's what scholars say about the bunny's origins.  And may explain the veral nature of the bunnies (their paganistic).

Dear distinguished ministers. My apologies for the lack of previous contact; but recent events have come to light that are so significant to very fabric of our organization, that I had to overcome my fear of technology and post this blog (In truth I spent over an hour staring at the IFS site trying to figure out how to post, and eventually broke down and called the Minister of Technology to tell me how to do it).

Wednesday March 29th, 2006 - Thomas Woodward (Tom Jones) was knighted Sir Tom Jones by --, the Queen of England.

This information may not be new to you, but since it had not been posted on the website, I felt it was my solemn duty, as the Rabbi of Leisure, to bring it to all your attention.

Working for a web development company, nothing bothers me more than MySpace, but at the same time I succumbed to the ongoing pressure to join a year ago and have enjoyed the messages I receive from people I probably would have already lost contact with.  As it is with so many forms of communication there are peaks and valleys with an inevitable plateau, and today, I declare MySpace as finally leveling out in popularity.  Everyone and there Mom/Dog/Cat/Greasy Uncle/Favorite Band/Comedian/Crappy Movie Sequel have a profile page. With the negative aspects of unadulterated stalking and snooping leads to failed job opportunities and general debasement people will begin to move away from the social philandering site.  Evidenced by the following excerpt from a popular blog:

I’ve developed this theory that anything you write on MySpace instantly becomes 150% more idiotic just by the mere fact that you are writing it on MySpace. Example? When you type “E = MC2″ into your profile it is automatically is converted into “1 + 2 = 3″ by a backend computer program, I swear!

You ever look at the profile of someone you don’t know and just go, “Holy crap, this person is an IDIOT!” Then have you gone and looked at your own profile and read it as if you didn’t know yourself and realize, “Oh my lord, I sound like a dipsh-t!”

                        (from the Modern Age.org)

But then again where else can you find a sweet picture like this:

Anyone who is interested, I am going to visit the minister of leisure the first or second week in June. Let me know if there are any takers and well plan the trip together.

As Minister of Defense it is my duty to inform you of the existence of this man.  His name is Gregg Valentino.  He has the biggest arms in the world.

He also has a website:  www.greggvalentino.net

His website is not the biggest in the world, but it's worth looking at.

Is anyone going to post some Vegas photos?  I need to show the world via my myspace page how sweet i am.

In last night's episode of Southpark entitled "Cartoon Wars," Kyle and Cartman battled over the value of Family Guy as a comedic show.  With next week's episode also dedicated to Cartman's journey to get Family Guy cancelled, I started to question Family Guy's inherent value myself.  So lets put it to a vote: If one show had to be cancelled, which one would you dump?

I personally think Southpark has more going for it.

When I think about our recent rendezvous to Vegas I almost puke, but then after I get past the watery saliva, I smile.  It was a perfect trip. Smooth as a babies behind.  Everything worked out to perfection from the cabana at Rain, to the rooms, to the champagne breakfast, it was fucking amazing.  I remember at one point at breakfast in between being hungover/drunk John (and we all know to stay away from him) I looked around that table and thought of all the different connections we have with each other, and all the diverse personalities we bring to the table and how a huge group of bad asses can all get together and not only get along but have the time of our lives!  Cheers to one of our most epic adventures, and heres to looking forward to the many we have in front of us.  And in the words of DIEGO and myself,  SHOW ME THE WAY TO THE NEXT ATM DONT ASK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! or maybe you prefer NEGRO-DAMUS

I'd just like to thank/commend everyone for such an epic weekend.  It was great to see everyone and was pleasantly surprised with how smoothly everything ran.  Thanks to those of you who made this possible for this prestigious organization.  Since I've thoroughly enjoyed not sleeping at all these past few nights, I took an opportunity to speak with Wilbur at the concierge desk on my way out this afternoon. I convinced him to barter me a machine I just finished installing into my wall that constantly pumps oxygen into my bedroom.  In exchanged he received a, "You bet your sweet ass I am," for no apparent reason.  As I will no longer ever need to sleep again, I'm hoping to find more gems like this at 3 in the morning.  And now, without further ado, I give you..... Whem G.M. (Caution:  Not work friendly)

http://www.break.com/index/mgmgrand.html