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This post is directed at the Rabbi of Leisure and his 'yes man'....

 

"Okay, so this is where you tell me all about how locals rule and yuppie insects like me shouldn't be surfing your break and all that, right? No. That would be a waste of time. We're just going to fuck you up....on the blogosphere."

 

True Story:

 On a sunny afternoon 4 guys (3 IFS members) struck out on a surf mission to a local spot.  This spot was actually featured quietly in the hit movie 'Point Break', including a famous 'localism' intimidation scene. 

Although this surf spot is no secret, it is a bit off the beaten track and I won't go into the etiquette and complexities of showing up at an uncrowded, quality surf break with only a few people in the water, but in short, you must be respectful and tread lightly. 

After the OC crew took a trip back to the car to fetch sun screen to prevent dry skin and rashes, we hit the water.  OC team leader quickly surfs a set wave, while OC towel boy cheers him on by hooting and hollering. "There's not enough wax on my board. This water is cold, I wish I had a better wetsuit, I usually wear booties, my feet go numb easy." were a few choice expressions from the guy you don't want talking to you in the lineup.

After more than an hour surfing in excellent conditions, our esteemed Rabbi of Leisure realizes he is late to take his 17 year old sister to the Kanye West concert in San Diego by 7pm.  A mid-lineup freak out ensues, "We've got to go! MOM! Art and Design! towel boy! we have to go RIGHT NOW!  I'm so late, oh my god, oh my god!" The Rabbi exclaims.

I reluctantly paddle for a wave and ride it to the beach where I proceeded to question the Rabbi about the seriousness of his public outburst.  (Direct Quote)  "My parents are going to be so pissed" he relayed with the utmost urgency.  "Can't you find someone else to take your sister to the Kanye West concert?  Why can't she drive herself, she's 17."  I manage to say without laughing at the reason for our immediate departure. 

At this point A&D and I were not prepared to leave a beautiful, almost empty lineup for a seemingly ridiculous errand.  After serious negotiation and justification I allow OC team towel boy to drive my car back to town so team OC can return home.  (I allow OC team towel boy to drive, since the Rabbi can't drive a car with a manual transmission.)  "We'll either get 'Competition' to give us a ride, or we'll take the bus."

Two OC 'tenderfeet' depart in a hurry, driving my car. "Utah! Get me Two!"

After a few more hours of empty, beautiful surfing conditions A&D and I are exhausted and content with bellies full of tasty waves.  30 miles from our house, "Gee I wish we had a car."

After a small walk to a bus stop, A&D and I bundle our dripping wetsuits into hobo packs and wait patiently for the Express #3 bus.  "How did you get your boards here?" the bus driver inquires.  "We drove a car here, but then someone took our car back without us." We replied.  "Someone stole your car?!" he exclaimed.  Not exactly.

We were placed in the back of the bus where our boards would fit in between the bench seat.  The driver had to ask a couple of day laborers to move to accommodate our equipment.  The picture above was taken on the bus and illustrates our frustration with our tenderfoot surf companions and also captures the beauty of public, urban surf transport.  'Viva los Dodgers!' A&D and I share a laugh on the enjoyable and peculiar bus ride back to town.  Competition picks us up at the local bus terminal and we return home.

Please understand, I post this story not as an example of why I'm cooler or better than our companions.  I post this story to highlight ridiculous behavior which fulfills the stereotype of everything you try and avoid.  When a 25 year old is begging his friend to help him, because of the threat of parental repercussions and Kanye West concerts, you have to laugh at yourself.  It's important to listen to yourself speak and make sure you sound sane. No harm intended, just a bit of comedy.

"Back off Warchild, seriously."

 

This just in.... The mighty OAS is embarking on a new adventure.  Nicaragua. 
Defense and myself are flying down to Central America this Friday to meet up with the Rabbi of Leisure just in time to catch a new southern hemisphere swell next week.  The waves should be as tasty as the Nicaraguan pancakes.  We will be in the southwestern coastal area, blessed by constant offshore winds due to the massive inland Lake Nicaragua....Bra!
By the good grace of flapjack we shall return to our home in less than two weeks time, just in time for Caruthers High School Football season.  Go Blue Raiders!

As long as I live, I will never forget that day 21 years ago when I raised my hand and took the oath of citizenship. Do you know how proud I was? I was so proud that I walked around with an American flag around my shoulders all day long.
                                                                                                        -Arnold Schwarzenegger 

Outdoor Adventure Squad Update
It’s been a little while since the last OAS update, but I’ve been planning our next mission for a little while now. This afternoon four brave adventurers will travel southward to begin filming on my new project, “The Tacumentary”. The Tacumentary will be a bilingual exploration of Mexican cuisine and a sampling of Mexican waves. This surf/taco film will be sure to impress. We will be armed with surfboards, language skills, and stomachs hungry for a variety of Tacos. Stay tuned.

Viva Flapjacks! Viva OAS!

Our Hero, Oscar-winning actor Russell Crowe is to make his directorial debut with a film about a gang of Australian surfers.  Bra Boys will be based on a real-life, Sydney-based gang of the same name.  Based in the Sydney district of Maroubra, the Bra Boys are a tattooed and often violent gang, renowned for their anti-authoritarian, anti-social behavior.   The Bra Boys were founded by the brothers Atherton, the older of whom is on trial for murder.  The younger brother Koby is a professional surfing known for his agressive attitude and tendency to beat ass.  It is not known whether Crowe will appear in the film, but I know I'll be there to find out. 

1st place: Dane
    2nd place: Fricker
        3rd place: Baumann
               4th place: Beaz

I just wanted to announce my fantasy surfer victory over Fricker, Baumann and Baez.  Even though I know it is not a very impressive victory, any sort of surfing victory over Frick can be considered big.  I would also like to take this moment to throw out the idea of having IFS Fantasy Sports leagues. This could include sports like; baseball, basketball, football, surfing, hockey or any other sport. I know everyone enjoys watching sports, so this could be a new way of keeping in touch, talking shit and competing against one another. Let me know.