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Technical Details:

Part of my job as the Director of Quality Control is to process GPS points collected in the field to check the Aerial Laser Survey data.  The Field Operations Specialist (Defense) mounts a survey grade GPS antenna on a vehicle, measures the antenna height and drives around the project area.  The resulting data is processed to a very high degree of accuracy (2-4cm) and compared with the Laser points collected in the aircraft to make sure they are accurate.  When the accuracy of the points is good, these charts show them in green.

Just imagine my satisfaction when i checked these GPS points and found they were all of very high quality and in the shape of a cock and balls.  I can just imagine the smile on Defense's face as he charted his path through the central valley, thinking of me in the office, sitting in my cubicle, processing GPS points, taking screen shots and making IFS posts.  Meanwhile the heavy pelican case for the GPS equipment sits atop the shattered sacred documents. A giant green shlong and a job well done sir.  The client will be pleased.

Who's in?

I will give an update for those ministers who are unaware of the new developments in Mexican Second Division soccer.  Our beloved Minster of Finance has quit his financial planning job in San Francisco to go try out for a Mexican Second Division squad in Playa del Carmen.

The official club name is Internacional Playa del Carmen and allegedly there's a contract to be drawn up upon Christopher Baez's return to Mexico this winter, if he doesn't receive any other offers.  This new international development begs the question, "When are we going to see Baez play Mexican soccer for an IFS meeting?"  I personally can't wait. Please join me in congratulating our dear friend and supporting his quest to live the dream.

The Mexican Second division website is: http://www.segundadivision.org.mx/

Driving into work on Tuesday, a morning like any other, hazy, cold, a mountain of emails waiting for my arrival, and what do I spy barreling down the 5 freeway just outside San Clemente? The Oscar Mayer Wienermobile.  We quickly sped up in order to grab this pic, but unfortunately did not have the opportunity to get the driver to pull over and give us the customary wiener whistle, wow that sounds gay.

Maybe someday you will see one of the six giant rolling wieners too, but until that day you can read about their history here.

Just a reminder to all ministers...  "Chico the River Wild" is just a month away.  We are still planning on taking our next meeting on the road for Memorial Day weekend. Reservations have been made at the finest hotel Chico has to offer and reservations have been made at the world famous Sierra Nevada Brewery.  Be sure to pack a swimsuit, a bowling shirt, a healthy appetite, and a thirst for microbrew because you'll use them all. 

The exact dates are May 25th-May 28th.  A large passenger van will be rented and depart Los Angeles Friday night to return Monday evening for all Southern California ministers.  I'm posting this a month in advance to remind all ministers to get off work, turn in your homework early or pacify your girlfriend.  Mark your calendars!  This will be a great journey and I expect all ministers within a thousand miles to be there.  Mahalo.

Well fellas..  I'm fuckin back.  I'm proud to announce I was accepted to both Western University and the University of the Pacific, but things just got a lot better today.  Today I received a letter saying I was accepted to the Doctor of Pharmacy program at USC for the class of 2011.  I'll be on my way to the city of angels before you all know it.  I'm thinking my road trip will be set for the middle to end of July and I'll arrive out there sometime in early August.  Heat will be brought, but then books will once again consume my life.  I can't wait to be back with all you guys and am so excited to start the journey towards the rest of my life.  I can't stress enough how much I miss all you guys and am looking forward to all the great I.F.S. events to come.  Hope everyone is well and I'll see you soon!  GOOD FUCKING FLAPJACK!

Minister of HEALTH

As many of you may have heard, I have been accepted to the PhD program at UCLA in Geography.  I recieved official confirmation this morning, and I didn't want to make any announcments before I had a letter in hand. So... I'm going back to school next fall.  The last remaining hurdle is a financial one, so we'll see how high I can jump and if I get any help from the great state of California.  Cross your fingers.  But don't worry, I'll still be availble for any questions regarding lasers and or laser maps from now into the future, hopefully moreso. 

I can also legitimately rep UCLA basketball for their game versus Flordia on Saturday. Go Bruins!!  I'd like to thank all of my brothers for their support. I love you all.  -Fricker

Here are ten 3D images taken from the LiDAR signature from an airborne laser scanner flown over our beloved UCSB. There’s a bit of noise in these models and it’s not like looking at an image, so interpret wisely. It seems the going rate is 2 bottles of ale to the winner. First person to comment with the correct answers (or the most correct answers) gets two beers and the respect of their peers:

There are 10 Laser Maps, all on the main UCSB campus.  For those who didn't attend UCSB, get a campus map and guess anyway.

Here is an average day in the life of Scott Baumann, laser extraordinaire (in training):

First, fly across the country and use satellites and computers to find the laser hole.

Then, after using satellites and computers to find it, reach through ice and water to finger the laser hole.

After the laser hole and been thoroughly fingered, go directly to Anchor Bar in Buffalo, NY, the place where Teressa Bellissimo invented Buffalo wings in 1964.

Finally, eat as many wings as you can.  These are quite simply the best wings your humble Minister of Not Writing the Defense Report has ever seen and/or eaten.  They were huge and tender and perfectly fried.  The bleu cheese was so creamy and tangy that I thought for a moment I was giving Mark a blow-job.  The celery and carrots were pretty much the same as they are anywhere else.  Oh, and to boot, we also had pitchers of McSorley's beer, which is beer that is brewed for and by McSorley's Old Ale House, the oldest and most bad ass bar in all of New York City.  Jordan will confirm this for me.  They have a $2 cheese and raw onion plate that is to cheese plates what Anchor Bar wings are to wings.

Living the dream.  Sorry about your face.

-Boomann-

P.S.-  Thank you Fricker for getting me this job.